I … have not posted anything in over a week.
Wanna know why? Well, if you do, keep reading, ’cause I’m about to tell you anyway. If you don’t want to know, then … just don’t read this post, I guess. *shrug*
School, dance, voice, the school play, my book, other miscellaneous writing projects, and a few personal problems I’m trying to puzzle out. This all means … wait for it … STRESS!
Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I get stressed out more than your average bear. (Please, please, PLEASE in the name of gummy bears understand that reference!) Be that as it may, I’ve been particularly stressed of late.
At school, the workload is proving very challenging for me to juggle with all of my other activities. And, me being the worrywart that I am, I’ve somehow managed to convince myself that if I don’t do every assignment perfectly I’ll fail the class, thus managing to make an already stressful workload even more stressful.
I love dance, voice, and theater so much that nothing is very stressful about them, other than trying to get everything right, and even that isn’t too bad stress-wise. The most stressful thing about those three is trying to balance them with school. (Which is still pretty big).
My book … my, this is a doozie, now, isn’t it? And that was a lot of commas. Anyway, book! To tell you the truth, I’ve probably written a page and a half total in the last two weeks. That’s, what? About 350 words? Yeah. Not very impressive. Now, this lack of writing is certainly not because I’ve lost my passion for the craft or my book. It is, in part, because I’m so stressed and busy with everything else, and also because I’m stressed and worried about the book itself and how it’s going to turn out. I feel like story is simultaneously moving to fast, and yet too slow. I know what needs to happen next, but I’m finding it difficult to get my characters into that place without simply going, “Then, after event A happened, characters x, y, and z moved on to event B!” Not very good. I think I just need to sit down for a good hour and a half or so and just WRITE. But, alas, that requires time, a luxury I’m having trouble scraping the bottom of the barrel hard enough to afford.
Long story short (too late for that), I’ve been super stressed out and busy lately and I simply haven’t found time to write, nor have I thought up a good post for you lovely human beings.
All that being said, I’m going back proofreading this before I post it, like I always do, and I’m realizing that this makes it sound like I don’t enjoy all these things I’m doing.
That is most certainly not true.
I love dancing. I love singing. I love acting. I love writing, blogging or otherwise. I could love school more, but I like it okay.
I’d just like to point you to the line at the top of the post once more: “I get stressed more than the average bear.” So, as much as I adore the things I do, trying to do everything stresses me out and then I procrastinate to avoid the problem. I actually don’t procrastinate very often, as I’m terrified of failure, but sometimes I do, and then the stress gets even worse … anyway.
I’m pretty sure I can stop now. Very, very long story short: I am doing a lot of fun things, but it’s hard to manage and I’ve been very busy and stressed lately, but I haven’t forgotten to post and you can expect a new story here soon … because I’ve had an idea. 😀