All the Holes on My Face Are Leaking

So, remember how I had the plague about a week ago? Well, we suspect I was drugged, but there’s no concrete evidence of that, so we’re just going to have to go with the plague.

Can you guess why I’m reminding you about this? No, really, take a guess.

Did you guess that I’m sick again? Well, you’d be right.

I mean, honestly … could I just grow an immune system here? I do actually have a life, and being sick isn’t helping me out with that little detail!

I’m inhaling coughdrops and sneezing every two seconds, and my nose is running like a faucet, causing me to wish I had one of those little kleenex packets that I always scoff at other people for having.

Well, I guess that sort of serves me right.

My eyes keep randomly tearing up and the tears then leak out of the corners of my eyes … but I’m not actually crying. So, that’s weird.

I think the most embarrassing part is the fact that I can’t seem to control my mouth … and not in the way I usually can’t control it. I keep drooling, for heaven’s sake! I don’t even feel it, and then I glance in a mirror and drool is trailing down my chin. Like an infant. In public.

And, of course, this happened the day before we’re supposed to go the the Amusement Park. Of course.

I can deal with being sick and working through it, but it’s hard to have fun when you feel like your entire head just crawled up to earth from the deepest circles of hell.

I am a weakling, though, so it is possible I may just be being a wussy about this.

But a throat infection? Again? Really? This is like the second or third one this year. The doctor said that if it happens too often, I probably need to get my tonsils removed … and I really don’t want to get my tonsils removed.

My theory is that my tonsils are just too full of themselves. The want to be as important as, say, the heart or the lungs, so they just swell up to the size of tennis balls to try and compensate for the importance that they DON’T HAVE.

Well, you know what, tonsils? It’s time for a reality check.

Guess what? I don’t actually need you. I could cut you out and you would die. And guess what else? I wouldn’t even care. You know why? Because your freaking ego keeps swelling up and causing problems!

So, if you would like to maintain your position, I suggest that you develop some humility. On the double, please. I’m scheduled to have actual FUN tomorrow.

P.S. This is 100% unrelated to this post, but my friend Kesslyn just started a blog of her own! It’s well written, intriguing, and fun, so I’m going to shamelessly plug it. Click here to go visit and follow and like and comment on Kesslyn’s blog because it’s awesome and you definitely want to do it. 🙂


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