“I’m right-handed.”

“Oh. I’m ambidextrous.”

“Oh my! I’m so sorry! Is it terminal? How long do you have?”

“No, no! NO! It means I can use both hands just as well. Geez!”

(-___-) (<—- Annoyed face)

Okay, that’s never happened to me, but I’m still irritated.

I broke my right arm in the second grade, so for a while, I was forced to become ambidextrous. (I’m sure I’ll tell you the story of how I broke my arm another time; but today is not that day.)

But I want to know who named the ability to use both hands “ambidextrous”! I mean, did they MEAN to make it sound like an illness?

Couldn’t they have named it, I dunno, “dual handed” or “look-at-me-both-hands!” or something?

Apparently not.

But, since I broke my arm in second grade, I would go around telling people I was ambidextrous and they would give me this look. Sometimes vaguely concerned, but mostly dreadfully confused.

Your mission, should you decide to accept it:

I suggest we take the matter into our own hands and change the name to “dual-handed.”

Let’s hashtag the heck out of the interwebz! #imnotambidextrousimdualhanded

Tweet it. Put it on Facebook. Make an entry on Urban Dictonary. I don’t care. Let’s just let the world know that the term “ambidextrous” is now forfeit.

Good luck.

UPDATE: I googled it. And, apparently, no one person came up with it. Apparently: The word “ambidextrous” is derived from the Latin roots ambi-, meaning “both”, and dexter, meaning “right” or “favorable”. Thus, “ambidextrous” is literally “both right” or “both favorable”. The term ambidexter in English was originally used in a legal sense of jurors who accepted bribes from both parties for their verdict.[2] The Latin word is derived from classical Greek roots from the word ‘αμφι-δέξιος’. Huh. Who knew.

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