My Mortal Enemy

I, as is no secret, participated in NaNoWriMo this year. For the first time, possibly the last time (but who knows? It was fun).

Want to know who else participated in NaNoWriMo? Brandon W. Sanderson.

I began at a deficit, because I was finishing Book 1 of this series and was going to NaNo book 2. So I speed-wrote 7k words in the first two days of November, then binged the words I’d missed by doing so. So by the third day of November, I was pushing 10k words. I saw on Twitter that Sando was doing NaNo; out of curiosity, I went to his reddit to see his wordcount updates. I then realized something intriguing: I had more words, total, down for November than Brandon Sanderson. A man renowned for writing all the words. Thousands upon thousands.

I was then seized by a strange, burning, violent compulsion: I must BEAT BRANDON WINN SANDERSON.

Until November 12th, I was successful in staying ahead of him. I was going over the required wordcount every day to do it, because he (a full-time writer, unlike me, a wage-slave who was also directing a play at this time) was averaging between 2-3k words a day to the required 1,667. So it was almost inevitable that he’d pass me.

I OBSESSIVELY checked his live updates every single day. I did math (math. math) to figure out how far over the 1,667 I’d have to write per day to surpass and then beat him, based on the latest word counts. He would often skip update days; knowing this, I would still visit. (Just in case). I would push myself to write 4,000 words on days when I had more time, to try and catch up and (hopefully) surpass his overall count.

I caught back up to him on November 21st. I passed him again on the 23rd. (The chump was on VACATION. Laaaame).

I finished NaNoWriMo with 56,717 total words written in November.

How many words did Brandon Sanderson finish with, I hear you asking?

A mere, measly, meager 51,510. And I finished 4 hours before him.

So, ha.

This was absolutely baseless. And there is no hope of my ever surpassing his lifetime wordcount; he is what the kids call a maniac. It was a series of strange and random events that led to my imaginary NaNoWriMo rivalry with Brandon Sanderson; but I had it, and I won.

A victory purer than a mere achievement of 50k words. Sweeter.

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