I missed another day. C’est la vie. Doubling them up is fiiiiine.
The day started so darn good! I woke up at 8:15, you guys. Only 15 minutes off the mark.
I had so many intentions to be productive. I started my day slow (because what’s the point of moving fast in quarantine); I had my coffee and breakfast, got dressed, made my bed (!), watched a little bit of TV (predictable), and then I opened up my computer to get to work.
I had my document opened when I got a text. It was a very upsetting text. I cannot disclose to the world of the internet the text I received, because it would be a big fat violation of someone’s privacy.
However, all plans of productivity? Out the window.
It was deeply, deeply emotionally shaken the whole day. I spent a lot of it crying. On that note, I’m finding it very upsetting that things that are affecting me terribly emotionally are happening while I’m alone per Government Mandate. Because man, I already needed a hug, and now I really need one, and I’m not allowed to have one.
I wasn’t in the right headspace to do the work I wanted to get done that day, so I watched things and listened to music and called my mom.
When outside time came, I spent time with some friends – including one who I haven’t seen since March – and it did make me feel a little better, even though I still couldn’t hug any of them.
The best cure was going to bed, so I did. I even remembered the blog post but I still just … didn’t want to. So I went to bed.
Since I went to bed in such a funk and really just wanted to sleep, I didn’t set an alarm, so there was no hope to wake up by 8:00. I still didn’t do too shabby, though, I woke up just after 9:30.
We’ve got one more day to hit the goal, buds.
I did, in fact, feel just a little better today. I thought my productive thoughts.
UNFORTUNATELY. (Because bad days can’t just come in ones).
About 10 minutes after I woke up, my uterus completely rebelled against the rest of me. It hurt, like, super really bad. I couldn’t move.
So I spent almost two hours just laying in my bed this morning because, well, I could not do anything else. I talked to my sister, though, which is always nice.
The pain did wear off after a while (what was it? I don’t know) so I got up and actually got dressed and brushed my hair. Then a friend texted that she was on campus, so I had a window visit! (We love window visits).
I got my second government babysitter call. It was short and sweet. “Do you have COVID? Are you fed? Cool, have a great day.”
Then I had my lunch and TV. Then I had an Andrea window visit!
Then I opened my computer and worked on some worldbuilding things for actually quite a while. Right as I was losing some momentum, I had a window visit with Ella! (It was a big window-visit day. Which was nice, because I need human contact very much, especially at this point).
I continued to do a little more worldbuilding and texted my sister about something to do with it (because, really, my sister is involved in about 96% of my writing process). I figured that out, but then my computer – Gustaf – decided it was a good time to have a complete and total conniption, so I shut him down for a little nap.
So I started Marissa Meyer’s Wires and Nerve. It’s a sequel to the Lunar Chronicles, but a graphic novel! My friend Leni sent it in my care package (it’s signed!!) and I’ve been meaning to start it all quarantine, but mealtime TV soaked up the time, I guess.
I’m really enjoying it so far! I’m about halfway through. The medium difference took a little getting used to, since I so heavily associate that cast of characters with a fully-written-novel format, but now that I’m used to it, it’s very fun.
I also called my bank about needing to be able to access my money while I’m in Canada, which was very adult-y of me. Ew.
Speaking of my friend Leni, she called me just before dinner and we talked for a while.
Then I did some more work – I was talking to my sister again (we really do talk a lot, something I don’t notice as much until I write accounts of my daily activities) and told her about a lynch pin scene I dreamed up the other day.
She said, “Tell me you recorded it somewhere.”
And I said, “No, I’m doing that thing where I’m sure I won’t forget it because it’s so important.”
So she demanded that I immediately go write it down. (Which, valid). So, I did.
I finished up by about 8:00, when Andrea texted me and I had my outside time with her and, eventually, a couple others. That was good.
Tomorrow is my last full day. I’ll spend most of it packing up so I can move to my real, non-prison room when I’m out. So I’ll likely not get a lot done, but that’s okay. I’ll still have almost a full week before classes start to get some stuff done.
Honestly, even with how miserable the last week has been, I’m surprised to notice that I have slightly mixed feelings about getting out. 14 full days of the same thing day after day, while I have not been particularly happy for most of it, takes on a certain comfort of familiarity. Also, I’ve had so much work time to just do things I want to get done that I couldn’t have (or at least, not done as much of) if I’d had other obligations.
But, also. I am extremely ready to leave this room. This whole building. I’m going to hug everyone. I’m going to do so much laundry. I’m leaving campus with a couple friends.
I am looking very, very much forward to it.
My biggest anxiety right now is that I develop symptoms sometime tomorrow and have to keep going. I think I actually wouldn’t be able to handle it. A real mental break may take place.
But I feel the probability of that is slim, so here’s hoping. Hoping real hard.
One more day.
Two more sleeps.