Life Could Almost Feel Normal Now

If it wasn’t still so wild, I mean.

I’ve been feeling like we’re in this kind of limbo, lately. In most places, restrictions due to COVID have slowly been lifting, and more allowances have been made for “normal life” activities. More people are out, more stores are open, restaurants are finally being allowed to have some sit-down services again, hairdressers and nail salons are back in business.

But, at the same time, it’s some weird husk of what “normal” was. Everywhere you look there are masks; there are lines down sidewalks, people six feet apart, waiting to shop or get a haircut; stores look different, their amenities are modified, there are stickers on the floor reminding you to keep away from others; everywhere operates on reduced capacity, distance where possible, facemasks, hand sanitizer, hand washing stations.

Not to mention if you go downtown, well, anywhere right now. Protests, riots – and even there, facemasks, gloves, and hand sanitizer.

Sometimes things will feel normal, and then something will happen and it’s like a “no, this is all still bizarre and uncertain” slap in the face.

I’ve gotten a job since my last post. That helps add some normalcy back into my life.

But even then: it’s not the summer job I’ve always had, it’s part time, I wear a mask and gloves to work, I have to take a symptom questionnaire in order to submit my timesheet. Heck, at a more basic level, I have to complete a mandatory self-health screening in the morning before I even leave for work.

And we’re human, so even with all of this weird, crazy stuff, we start to adapt. We start to just go with the flow – if this is how it is, this is how it is.

But then something new happens, or some new safety measure is introduced, or we move to a new phase.

And then it’s not normal anymore. We’re reminded that this is odd, not everyday life.

And I don’t know about anyone else, but I think it’s taking a little bit of an emotional toll on me, this months-long roller coaster of normalcy we’re all riding. The roller coaster that doesn’t really seem to have an end, as far as I can see.

I’ve just been in a stewpot of anxiety lately because my school keeps sending foreboding communications about our “modified return” next semester, and I’m worried about what that means. Financially, practically, theatrically, educationally. What it’ll mean for the on-campus job I got just before last semester ended.

I’m just worried. And I know everyone is right now, but here it is on paper. Well, “paper.”

Hope you’re all okay, even if everything is bizarre and in flux right now. Is being in a state of limbo a kind of normal itself? Expecting never knowing what to expect?

I guess it has to be, huh?

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