Okay, so remember the black strap? This one? Remember how important it is to the entire guard staff?
No one’s seen it for two weeks! We’ve all searched high and low–even going so far as to clean the guard room. Something that rarely, if ever, happens.
We just came in one morning and it wasn’t on its hook. It was just … missing.
Now, it is not uncommon for someone to hide the black strap so that they can have it the next day, but this doesn’t seem to be the case. No one will admit to having hidden it, and no one has worn it since its disappearance.
We all have our private, unspoken theories about what happened to it.
Someone hid it to wear it, and forgot where they put it?
A concessions worker hid it to have a good laugh?
Someone forgot to take it off when clocking out, and it’s at their house?
Personally, I think someone on the managing staff retired it to resolve any time-wasting arguments over who gets it. Which is LAME.
That black strap was not only disproportionately desirable, it was a symbol.
A symbol of responsibility, service, and dedication.
I mean, kind of.
Mostly it’s just the best fanny pack.
Everyone is most displeased at its absence.
Perhaps it will show up during cleaning week.
What’s cleaning week?
Oh, you’ll hear about it. Don’t worry.