Not So Glamorous

At work on Sunday, one of my friends and co-workers, while we were squeegeeing the bathroom floor, sarcastically said, “You know, being a lifegaurd is a lot less glamorous than I thought it’d be.”

And, boy oh boy, did today drive that home. I have tales, you guys.

Okay, so I’m scheduled to work all week. I worked a full day today, 10:45-5:45. I went to work, strapped on a fanny pack, and prepared to guard some lives like a pro.

The day started off pretty mundane. Staring at a mostly empty pool, noticing the lack of drowning children, thinking, “Cool, no drowning children.”

But then, THEY came in.

“THEY” is a group of five boys, aged about 13-14. And these FREAKING boys are the most irritating, rude, jerkiest boys I have ever had the displeasure of interacting with.

They wanted to break the rules. They were informed of the rules, and told not to break them. It came to light that at least the “head annoying boy” wanted to get kicked out, and wanted it to be a big scene. Basically, these guys were hard core after attentnion. They broke rules anyway, after being told what the rules were and not to break them. This made the guard on stand get kind of angry. The boys started to yell-argue with her. She called over our manager, who also got profoundly irritated as they argued with HER. She informed them that, if they put one more toe out of line, they would be asked to leave the pool.

So, they chilled, and left about an hour later.

Now, before their storyline picks back up, it is worth mentioning that at about 2:45 I made a save. My first save. A cute little guy bounced too far to touch, and got really scared, and I hopped in and grabbed him. It was low-key, but got my adrenaline going.

But who shows back up at about 4:00? THEM.

My guess is they figured that the guards would have changed, so they had a better chance of not getting kicked out. However, what they didn’t know is that about half of us remembered them from the morning, and the other half had been told about them, because they really were profoundly obnoxious.

So, they come in, and start pulling the same stunts–asking about the rules and then arguing with whoever was guarding the deep end about how “dumb the rules are at this pool.” (Which they aren’t, in case you were wondering.)

When I was guarding deep, I thought I was going to have an aneurysm just talking to these guys. But, after being reminded that, yes, we remember them, and the threat to kick them out still stands, they didn’t break any rules, just argued and complained loudly.

Finally, this “head” kid, the oldest among them, gets on the diving board. He points at the on-duty supervisor until he knows she’s looking, and does a backflip off the diving board–the main rule he was explicitly told not to break. He wanted a scene, so that’s exactly what the supervisor didn’t give him. She motioned for him to come over to the pool wall.

“You have five minutes to get out of the pool, or I’m going to call the Park Ranger.”

He got out of the pool. The supervisor took him into the Guard Room and took down his name, sticking it on the fridge.

“Okay, there we go. Now I’d like you to leave, and please don’t come back. We don’t want you at our pool again.”

This punk walks out of the pool with the biggest grin on his face, because he got kicked out. The other four followed him out a little while later, and we all watched them go gleefully.

They pranked called the pool after they left, twice. (Amateur prank callers, really. So unoriginal.) Then they gave up.

And we hope that will be the last we hear of them.


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