Okay, so, as previously mentioned, I went to prom last Saturday. It was lots o’ fun, I wore a pretty dress and a mask, my makeup was super bomb, and I saw a lot of my friends, and I danced, and wore my heels much longer than I thought I’d be able to.
The times I wasn’t dancing, I raided the snack table’s vegetable tray, because I have a serious penchant for carrots and broccoli with that super-fatty vegetable-tray dressing.
However, in the midst of a conversation with one of my more casual friends, who happens to be male (and a ginger–represent), a realization hit me like a ton of bricks.
He was flirting with me.
Okay, so here’s my deal: I am not interested in dating anyone, especially in high school. Up to this point, I have been pretty sure no one, especially in high school, is interested in dating me, either. And I am entirely fine with that.
Now, if anyone HAS flirted with me previous to my prom-epiphany, I was protected, by complete obliviousness to their flirtatious attempts.
‘Cause, see, when you’re just not interested in dating, you put out huge, sun-bright beams out of every orifice that signal something along the lines of “NOPE, LOOK ELSEWHERE, FRIEND, THIS KID AIN’T DATING ANYONE.”
Of course, people miss that beam sometimes, and do the flirty thing anyway–I assume. However, said beam-putter-outer is just so out of touch with anything remotely flirty that they just … don’t realize anything is happen. At least, that has been the case with me, thus far. (My mother insists that there have, in fact, been humans with an XY chromosome who have been interested and flirted with me before. But I was protected, so, doesn’t count.)
But, apparently, no longer! And I find this QUITE unsettling. Flirting? Flirtation? HIGHLY irregular. I do not know about the flirtation, I do not like it, take it away. It is too scary.
I wish for my obliviousness back! I want to just not know when anyone’s interested. Ever. Until I’m 42 years old. I think I will have matured enough for a relationship by then.
Let’s make it 46, just to be safe.