Let’s Revisit that Book Thing

Okay, so, it’s been awhile since we took any time for the book, hasn’t it?

I have, in fact, been working on it, albeit slowly and intermittently. So, have a chunk, and tell me what you think:

Blaze and I parted ways slightly more tolerant of each other. The rest of my day was spent snoring through part of my sixth period class and all of seventh, wishing I could just go home, unable to focus on the droning voices of my professors after having just helped recruit someone.


Needless to say, as soon as my last class was dismissed, I was down the stairs, out the door, and headed for home. I boarded the bus, paid my fair, and passed the bus ride in silence. Twenty minutes later, I jangled the keys in the lock and twisted the knob. I pushed the door open and swung my bag and jacket onto a chair. I walked into the kitchen to grab a bowl of ice cream.


“Hey.”


I jumped about a foot in the air and turned to see Alanna browsing on her laptop, comfortably seated on the couch.


“Seriously? You couldn’t have, I don’t know, texted me that you were coming over?” My heart was still hammering in my chest.


“I wanted to spend some time with you, is all.”


My heart rate was almost normal again. “Fair enough, I guess. Want a snack? I was about to pull out the ice cream.”


Alanna grinned. “When isn’t ice cream a good idea?”


Two spoons and a quart later, we were high on sugar and having a pointless conversation.


“So, Blaze, huh?” Alanna’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “What’s going on there?”


“Yeah, right,” I laughed. “I don’t think so. Have you seen the way he looks at me?”


“Um, yeah, that’s kind of my point.”


“Well, he’s not my type, anyway. Can you seriously see me with his sort of bad boy-player thing he has going?”


“I don’t know, Jazzy my dear, all I’m saying is you didn’t seem to hateful towards him when I saw you coming back into school today.” An evil smile was playing at the corners of her mouth.


I was saved from answering, however, by the opening door and my mother’s timely entrance.


“Oh, hi, Alanna, I didn’t know you were coming over today.” My mother lightened the room with her signature warm-as-fresh-cookies smile. “Are you staying for dinner?”


“Well, I’d like to, if that’s not too much trouble, Mrs. E,” Alanna said sweetly.


“Of course, dear, we’d love to have you.” With that, my mother retreated into the kitchen.


I glanced at Alanna, whose eyes still bore a teasing glint. “Your room?” She asked.


“Sure,” I said.


We migrated to my room, where, immediately after shutting the door, Alanna asked, “So, what you’re saying is that you have no feelings whatsoever towards Blaze Goldman?”


“Yes, Alanna, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”


“Ooookay. If you say so.”

That’s that. I think this scene works much better (and is cuter) with them as actual teenagers, because it’s a very teenager conversation. “You liiiiike him.” “No I don’t.” “Well, he liiiiikes you.” “No, he doesn’t!”

I dunno. I think it kinda fits. Let me know what you think, though, I really do value your input. Feel free to tell me how you feel about any of it; voice, dialogue, the structure and existence of the scene itself.

You know. All that fun stuff.


2 thoughts on “Let’s Revisit that Book Thing

  1. It definitely works better with them as actual teenagers. Though I am left wondering how a teenager so adeptly got in…knows where the hide-a-key is :-)?

    Liked by 1 person

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