Writing is a Love/Hate Relationship

Okay, so, obviously, I do the writing thing. Hence this. Normally, people don’t blog who don’t like to write.

I do love writing. I think that’s pretty clear. I spend a solid percentage of my waking hours doing it, in some form or another.

However, I also hate it.

I mean, sometimes. The majority of my feelings are not hate, and hate is probably even to harsh a word–but for reals, writing can sometimes be a pain in the buttresse.

It’s hard. People that don’t write much don’t really get that, sometimes. But it’s a very difficult thing. You have to make sense, balance the right amount of conciseness and artistry, your story (or anything, expository, too) has to be set up in a way that is relatively straightforward to the general populace, and there are so many tiny elements that have to fit just right. It’s like a little machine.

As an amateur, it can be so very frustrating to try and figure out those tiny mechanics out. You need to figure out what you, personally, need, and then you need to find how they fit into your bigger machine.

Lately I’ve been working really hard to try and refine what I need, as my own writer. And it is way harder then it sounds.

Sure, everyone naturally has some things that work for them–I was blessed to have a very strong narrative voice, my “sound” as a writer. I’ve always had that, so I never had to find it.

However, that narrative voice is, as I’ve especially found this last year, sometimes too strong. It permeates parts of my writing it shouldn’t, like my character’s dialogue, and sometimes it too uniform, when it should differentiate slightly from topic to topic and idea to idea.

One of the reasons it has the issue of permeation into my characters is because, as I’ve discovered, my characterization ability is kind of weak. I need to figure out how to make each character their own person, not just a little mini-me, because that tends to be the trap I fall into. After all, you know yourself the best out of pretty much anyone. And it’s totally okay to have pieces of yourself in your characters–I’d say that’s pretty standard, even–but they do need to be unique beings. Humans aren’t drones, typically, that’s kind of the nice thing about them.

Plot and worldbuilding are also definitely not my strong suit. I can do them, sure–actually, I’m pretty proud of my world building for my book–but it takes me much longer than I’d like, I’m super frustrated by it, and I do need help. My world for my book, my oldest brother helped me with, because he’s super into the super technical aspects of the worlds in fictional literature.

Anyway, this is kind of a complain-y one, but I’m just saying. ‘Tis hard.

I love this blog, though, because it kind of takes the pressure off, you know?  I don’t have to worry about a lot of the techinical stuff that I spend my time trying to work on, because it’s just me writing. I’m the character, so it’s okay that I sound like me. I’m the narrator, so it’s okay that the voice is a bit strong. It’s nice.

Anyway. I’ve got set-in this Saturday, so your post might end up being on Sunday, but we shall see, shan’t we? 🙂

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