A Dose of Depression

A lot of people operate under the woeful misconception that depression is a mere sadness.
That’s simply untrue.
Depression isn’t just sadness. Nor is it anger, frustration, indifference, or stubborn refusal to be happy.
Depression is void of emotion. It is, for lack of an appropriate adjective to describe it, when everything is gray.
Nothing has a point anymore. You lose passions and interests. You may even lose love for people and things you used to adore.
This doesn’t mean you never feel the spark of an emotion somewhere deep within your soul. Occasionally, you’ll feel a twinge of happiness. Maybe a spark of anger. More commonly, the aching pull of sadness.
But depression, in its purest and realest form, is nothingness; and nothingness hurts. You may not realize it while you’re swimming in the void, but it’s slowly eating away at your heart, mind, and soul, and leaving you damaged.
What people don’t seem to realize, is that this pain and this damage isn’t a choice made by the depressed. It isn’t self-absorption and wallowing in misery for the joy of being pitied.
No one who is depressed enjoys it. Then again, they don’t enjoy anything. They just swim through the gray void of life with passive compliance.
Those who are depressed can learn to emulate human emotion. They can form a smile, choke out a laugh. Frown and pat a friend’s shoulder consolingly when needed.
At the end of the day, though, the lack of anything still gnaws at their core.
People have trouble understanding it unless they’ve faced it. “How can you be hurt by nothing?” They ask bewilderedly.
Nothing is what you feel towards pleasure. Towards other people. Towards getting out of bed in the morning. Towards the point in life.
That is how nothing hurts; and it is agonizing, though you may not realize it at first.
Depression is an ailment. It should be treated as any other; a broken arm, a case of the flu. You go to a doctor and you’re treated for it. Are you viewed as any less of a person because you’re sick or injured? Of course not, because it was beyond your control.
So why is being depressed any different?

4 thoughts on “A Dose of Depression

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s