I have no idea when I wrote this. I think I was probably around eight or nine–you know, the HEIGHT of my writing career? So, yeah.
Before you get to hear the stunning amazingness that is this story, you need some background.
There was a notepad sitting on the kitchen counter next to the phone. It was an advertisement for the “Doctors Without Borders” campaign. Across the top of the notepad it said, “WE CAN REWRITE THE STORY OF MALNUTRITION.” Me being me, I took that a tad more literally than they meant. I crossed out the “WE CAN REWRITE” and wrote above it, “I rewrote”. Then, underneath that, I did what I was asked–I rewrote the story of malnutrition!
Once Upon A Time,
there was a guy named Malnutrition. Now, in the first story, which this is a sequel to, Malnutrtition was a skinny guy who didn’t eat enough. But now, Malnutrition changed his name to: Balanceddiet, because now he is average weight, eating healthy, and exercising right. That’s the rewrite of Malnutrition, aka Balanceddiet.
I know, right? I was such a literary genius back then. it’s really impressive.
Wanna know what was even more impressive? My spelling. I spelled “weight” as “wieght,” and “exercising” as “excersizing.” Not to mention the stunning use of the colon–and don’t even get me STARTED on that stunner of a closing sentence.
Well, let me know if you want to see more of these blasts from the past! There are plenty more where these come from. I have even found some stunning little expository pieces that I could share with you!