Blast from the Past: Nine-Year-Old Me’s Shenanigans

So I was looking through a box of old stuff that my parents saved, and I found some old stories that I wrote when I was in grade school. This one is from when I was nine, in fourth grade, and it made me laugh, so I thought I’d share it with you. 🙂

 

The Field Trip That Went Bad!!!!!

I climbed onto the bus. “Sit with me,” My science teacher said with an innocent smile. 

“Okay, Ms. Windel. But I’m just going to listen to my iPod.”

“That’s okay, honey. Can I have you fo-I mean, to lunch?”

“Sure.” I got myself comfortable with my iPod, looking out the window. I turned, and, to my surprise, found Ms. Windel’s fangs at my throat! Yes, I said “fangs.” She didn’t want me to lunch, she wanted me for lunch! That’s what the “fo-” was!

She was a vampire. My science teacher was a vampire. What a coincidence.

Luckily, my mother insisted on putting garlic strips in my lunch. I grabbed a handful, and thrust it at her! With a yelp she retreated to the back of the bus.

Across the aisle, my best friend Nicole and my other friend Niah came to my seat. I think they are coming to sit by me, so I scoot over. But then I realize they are going through a highly disturbing transformation! 

Sagging green skin, their faces vacant, and yellow eyes rolling to the back of their heads! They were zombies! You heard me right! My two best friends, zombies! 

They were rushing at my face, teeth bared for lunch. Desperate for a weapon, I grabbed a fruit shish-ke-bab and stabbed them!

While all this was going on, the bus had stopped. I grabbed a handful of garlic and whirled to face Mr. S, our bus driver, expecting a vampire. But he was sprouting horns! Soon, he stood, metamorphisis complete. Curled rams’ horns, red skin, and a goat tail. A demon. 

This was a field trip to the movies–I wasn’t prepared for a demon bus driver! 

Exhausted, I snatched the keys from the ignition. “Good work out, killing monsters,” I thought as I stabbed him, grimacing at the blood. “These keys won’t be getting used anytime soon,” I thought, disgusted. 

Relieved, I sat down. “That’s all of them!” I sighed with relief. I didn’t know how wrong I was!

An Easter bunny, one of those guys in a cheap costume, got on the bus. 

“Sir, could I get a ride ho … ugh!” The Easter bunny was real! His eyes were going red, with blood dripping from his mouth. I didn’t think he was that cute and cuddly.

He advanced toward me, pulling silverware and a napkin from somewhere in his basket. I sat there, too tired to resist. I knew what was coming. I guess I looked good, all chewy and colorful. 

The Easter bunny sprinkled salt and pepper on me. He grabbed my water bottle, rinsed his hands, and smacked his lips.

MUNCH!!! In one gulp, I’m gone.

I wake up to find my mother’s concerned face above mine. My hair and face are sopping wet. She’s holding an empty jug.

THE END! * 🙂 * ❤ * *

See? Even ending on cliffhangers back then. 😀 I did my best to recreate the smiley-face-star-heart drawing that I put at the end of the story, but it was difficult on a computer, so that’s what you got.

I think what we’ve learned from this is that nine-year-old me was still obsessed with attempting to write a funny-yet-kickbutt story, and went a little overboard with the exclamation marks.

I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know if you want to see more of my grade-school stories, because there are more where this came from. 🙂