So, I Was Thinking …

So this is going to be long and rambly and probably have very little continuity, but that’s okay. I sort of just wanted to write and see what happened, because it’s kind of fun and I’m also bored (andprocrastinatingjustalittlebitaboutstuffIshouldbedoing).

Do you ever stop yourself when you’ve been thinking for a while and just wonder, “How did I get here?” I do all the time. And then I go back through all of my thoughts and find the root of where I got to when I stopped. And then I start wondering how those thoughts were even remotely connected, and why I connected them in that way.

I also wonder why I think the things I do. Why was I thinking about how “nail polish” could also be made for painting actual construction nails instead of finger- and toe-nails? Why was I thinking about how much cooler it would be if sweatpants were the universal dress code? Why was I thinking about why I was thinking about those things?

Whoa. It’s like think-ception, man!

I have a tendency to do that, I suppose. I actually get a lot of ideas for writing that way. This evening, for example. I was thinking about the theory that oxygen is a poison that slowly kills our bodies, and so then I thought, “Couldn’t we just find something else to breathe?” And then that thought sort of circled around to, “What if we could breathe water?” and I thought of writing a story based around man-made genetic modifications to the human lungs so that humans could breath both air and water.

Will I write anything based on that? Who knows. But is it a fun idea? Yes.

This whole “thinking dissection” can also bite me in the butt, though. If I start thinking too much it leads to an elaborate examination of who I am, and I have a crappy rest of my day because I wonder why I am the way I am because sometimes I don’t like it; and sometimes I wonder why anyone else does.

But it’s okay because by the next morning I’m basically at cheerleader-pep-levels. (We all know that’s a lie. I’m never peppy until at LEAST an hour and a half after I wake up. But the point stands).

The think-ception, as well as providing me with story ideas, also helps me come up with creative ideas for problem-solutions. What could we do this weekend? Well, what does our family as a whole usually enjoy? Why? Why is that the answer to the first why? Why is that the answer to the second why to the first why? What would push us just a tad out of our comfort zone to allow us to have more fun? Why? Why is that the answer to the first why?

I could keep going.

I think it also makes me more understanding of a person, because, as well as dissecting my own thought patterns, I can also dissect other people’s.

Okay, _________ is upset. Why? What is making __________ feel this way? Why is that making _________ feel this way?

Again … I could keep going. I think I probably could be a Psychiastrist, but … no. Author is the way to go for me.

A) I can work from home. Do you know how nice that sounds to me? I wake up, get ready, and … I don’t have to leave the house to go to work. Talk about NICE.

B) I can communicate with and teach people through a medium that I love and I’m comfortable with. Also entertain them. That’s cool, too.

C) PAJAMAS. Pajamas are the bomb diggity, and who says I ever have to change out of them? No one, that’s who.

Unfortunately, there’s the whole “still at school” thing … Yeah. I fantasize about staying home. Working from home is definitely very appealing. I have a ways to go, though.

But really. What’s the point of doing something unless it really appeals to you? If you have a goal, then, as … darn it I was gonna make a really good pun here and I forgot. Anyway, go for it! It will make you enough money so you won’t die for a while, until you can get successful, and then you’ll be good! (And, really, what’s the harm in asking some of your loved ones for help to do something you love? And this is coming from someone who has a serious issue in letting go of pride.)

Actually, I won’t be able to work completely from home in the first place anyway. I want to do both stage acting and writing, because I love them both too much for words, and stage acting involves me, you know, leaving the house. But I also want a family at some point (FAR down the road), and acting isn’t really lucrative to family life, but writing is! So, we’ll se what happens. I have a while yet to figure it out.

Wow. Talk about long and rambly. We went from thinking, to being a Psychiatrist, to writing, to acting, to family … whatever. I did warn you. I could actually keep going–just writing actually feels really nice–but I’m actually starting to feel kind of drowsy, so I should go sleep now.

So goodnight and stuff! Sleep! Don’t dissect your thinking when you try to fall asleep … it never works out well. 😛

GOODNIGHT, INTERNET! 😀


2 thoughts on “So, I Was Thinking …

  1. I love your writing style and I totally understand what you mean by not being able to stop overthinking everything. A lot of the time I get fixated on the negatives of that but you made me think hard about how overthinking can sometimes be a really positive thing. Also, I think its so cool that we have such similar interests. I have a degree in Theatre and now I work from home handling blogging/social media for lots of fun clients! I’m actually currently writing a book as its always been one of my main passions in life. So glad that we’ve connected! 🙂

    Ellen

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree, it’s pretty awesome how much we have in common! I’m happy I could help you see some of the positives, and thank you for the kind words. Also–book?!?! What’s it about? Fiction, Nonfiction, Genre? I need to know! (And, yes, Theatre is a HUGE passion of mine. No matter where I am or how my life is going, I get involved in Theatre. I’m actually … how to put it? “Cross training” for theatre with dance classes and voice lessons, and I’m having a blast. 🙂 )

      Like

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