Hello, I’m the Resident Expert on Children’s Shows

So, I’m noticing a theme. I’m really not that mature.

I drink juice boxes. I have an overactive imagination. And … I know everything about almost every children’s show ever.

Wanna hear the theme song to “Little Einsteins”? How about “Winnie the Pooh”? I can also do almost any song from “Barney”, if you’d like.

I also know almost all the songs from “Phineas and Ferb”, but, in my opinion, that’s less of a children’s show and more of an “everyone’s show.”

You name it, I probably know it.

Except for the really new, lame ones, like “Super Why” and … that one with a tiger that I can’t remember the name of.

I know the original “Dora”, but the new one when she’s 3D animated and her hair’s long? Um, no! You can’t just go and change Dora!

It’s not my fault I’m an expert on these things. I have three younger siblings. These shows have been playing in my house almost constantly since I watched them as a young tot.

There was about a two year break in between when Younger-er Brother stopped watching them and Youngest Brother started, but that’s not actually that long.

And, when they’ve been going for so long, two years really isn’t enough to make you forget them.

So, I know all of the things. One of my friends, during art class last year, was trying to paint Dora and Boots. (Don’t ask. We’re a little odd.)

She couldn’t quite remember the coloration, so I just stood there:

“Okay. Dora’s shirt is pink, and she wears orange shorts. Backpack’s purple. Don’t forget to put Map in the pocket. Alright, now she has white velcro shoes … no, two strips of velcro … yellow socks, and, finally, she has a yellow bracelet with a blue flower in the center on her right wrist. Yeah, her eyes and hair are brown.”

And then I proceeded to tell her how Boots’ coloring is.

Throughout this escapade, the entire class gathered around the desks we were sitting at and just stared at me. I didn’t notice until I was done telling her how everything goes. Someone asked,

“Um … you watch Dora?”

I was indignant, and understandably so! “No, Youngest Brother is three! It’s just on in the house. I can’t help but notice!”

A few people still decided to believe that I just watch children’s programming in my free time.

But whatever. I’m still probably the only children’s show genius in high school.

That’s not something everyone can say about themselves. So ha.


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