100% Lies

So I had my first day of high school today, ’cause I’m a big girl now.

(This is when you laugh because I’m so not).

It went pretty well, but as I was eating my lunch I sipped my juice and realized:

I’m going to high school, and I’m drinking out of a juice box.

Huh.

But, if I’m gonna destroy any possible mature image, that was a really good juice box to destroy it for. Yummy apple juice.

But the juice box is one of those “100% Juice” juice boxes. But it’s all a lie!

It’s not ACTUALLY 100% juice. Here, here’s what the box says:

“100% Juice! Blend of juices from concentrate & other natural flavors with added ingredients.”

Um … last I checked, when you add ingredients, it’s not 100% juice. Thank you very much.

And if you were to look at the ingredients list:

“100% fruit juice (filtered water sufficient to reconstitue apple, cherry and grape juice concentrates), natural flavor, dicacium phosphate (source of calcium and phosphorus), magnesium phosphate, citric acid, vitamin c, vitamin e, zinc citrate, vitamin a, palmitate, niacinamide, d-calcium pantothenate, copper gluconate, vitamin d3, pyridoxine hci, biotin, riboflavin, thiamin hci, vitamin b12, potassium iodide.”

Is it just me, or does that NOT sound like it’s “100% Juice!”?

I mean, I like you, juice box. You’re yummy in my tummy, and, despite the looks we get when we walk around campus together, I really love you.

But don’t lie to me. It stresses our relationship.

You don’t need to tell me you’re “100% Juice!” when you really have added vitamins and calcium and long scientific names. I’ll still love you the way you are.

But if you keep lying and telling me that you’re “100% Juice!” I’ll start lying and telling you that I’m “100% Amazing!”

See? Not cool.

It just really bugs me when products have “100% ______” when they aren’t. You turn it over and look at the ingredients list, and there’s fifty two other ingredients.

More like 100% deception.


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