I, the Queen of Procrastination, have decided to descend from my throne long enough to write a blog post. (And supposedly get a few other things done…we’ll see if that actually happens.)

I believe that most, if not all, teenagers/high school students/immature adults are very well-versed in the art of procrastination. Myself included.

That doesn’t mean we won’t work hard. I can actually do some pretty cool stuff when I put my mind and effort to it. It’s just a question of dredging up that effort from the swampy recesses of my teenager-y procrastination-loving mind. Most of the time it involves being poked into action by a certain individual in my life. (Hi Mom).

The art of procrastination is rather simple, and anyone can learn how to do it. I’ve written a step-by-step guide for those of you interested in learning how to procrastinate:

1) Procure some activity to do. This can be anything, from picking up those dirty socks from your bedroom floor to walking upstairs to writing a book. Just find SOMETHING to do.

2) Use every possible means to avoid doing that thing, as long as what you do to avoid it is within arm’s reach. If you move too much to avoid the work you have found, the procrastination is ruined. You could watch Youtube, read a blog post or five *ahem*, read a book, or see how many things you can pick up with your toes from where you’re sitting/lounging/slumped-over-like-you’re-on-your-deathbed. Just DO NOT DO THE WORK.

3) Avoid all authority figures. The authority figures are your enemy. They will attempt to make you get off your butt and do the work. Do not let this happen. I repeat, it is essential to your procrastination that you do not let this happen.

4) Repeat steps 1, 2, and 3 for the  duration of your procrastination/teenager years/life.

See? Not that hard at all. All you really need to be sure of is that you aren’t apprehended by any authority figures whilst you lurk in your cave/room.

Why did I write about procrastination on this particular day? At 2:58 in the pm? Why, because I’ve been procrastinating all day, of course! …I’ve basically gotten nothing done.

As a result, my short story hasn’t been edited so…I don’t know whether you’ll get it today or not. There’s a pretty big plot-hole that need adjusting, and, rather than fixing it, I’m writing this post…

So don’t get your hopes up for being able to read it today. I’ll endeavor to get it up soon. I won’t say it’ll be up tomorrow, cause that’s what I said yesterday, but it’ll be up relatively soon. Probably.

Aaaanyway, bubye! Off to write and study and do summer homework! (And maybe clean my room, but that’s pretty low on my list of priorities. I can live in my own filth for a little while longer before I go insane.)

PS: You can follow the blog, like this post, and comment, but if you don’t want to that’s cool too. I respect personal taste. Most of the time. 

2 thoughts on “Procrastination

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